Someone needs to go and tell whoever controls the weather that we have had enough of the snow.
It doesn’t look like it is getting better anytime soon either.
It started a few days after we got back from Christmas and I swear it has not stopped since. I normally don’t mind the snow as it is a step up from cold rain, but there is a point where I have had enough. It’s only January which to some may seem like the end of winter is near but if it isn’t at least March we still have a ways to go before we are out of the woods.
Not to mention it really makes being able to run outside difficult!
This was my view while spinning at the gym today. I am sick of seeing snow and clouds. I want some sun!
Thank you for all your sweet comments on my goals for 2014. A lot of you either sent me questions or enjoyed my goal of being a better wife. This is such a large goal and not very specific.
I thought today I would go into a bit more detail about exactly what I mean by that goal. We have only been married 2.5 years (as of Christmas day) and have been together for almost 9 years. These two and a half years of marriage have already taught me so much. I have been far from the “perfect wife” if there is such a thing, but I have started to realize what is important and what isn’t.
Here are my specific goals in becoming a better wife in 2014.
Five Ways to Be a Better Wife
For many years I just drove straight ahead and never really stopped to listen to what my husband wanted. Of course, I knew the basic things that any husband would want but instead of really stopping to listen to what he said I just did what I thought was best.
Take the time to really listen to your spouse. Find out what is important to them and what makes them happy. I could clean all day and have the laundry completely caught up but that isn’t important to my husband. Of course, it has to get done but it isn’t my number one priority.
2. Focus on What is Important
I am guilty of not doing this. It goes along with #1 in a lot of ways, but I have always struggled with wanting to be perfect at everything. I want every tiny detail to be perfect to avoid arguments, disagreements, and mess ups. Guess what!? Those are inevitable.
I have learned that if you focus on the couple of things that are important to your spouse or to both of you as a couple you will get a lot further than trying to micromanage everything. Don’t forget to really understand your spouse and know what makes them “tick.” If you haven’t had that conversation – sit down and list out the top five things that are important to each of you. This will really help you to see where you are the same and where you are different.
Some of you may or may not have heard of the Five Love Languages. It doesn’t cover everything, but I think it is a great place to start to help understand what is important to both yourself and your spouse.
3. Let Go of What You Can’t Control
I have always wanted to control everything. I want to plan it, figure out how to fix it, and make everything better. Realisticly this doesn’t always happen.
You have to realize what you can and cannot control. I can’t control what is going to happen 6 months from now and where we will be moving, but I can control how hard I work and how focused I am to get us where we need to be by then. I have to let go of the unknown and focus on the here and now.
When you try to control everything your stress level rises and you add tension in a relationship. By focusing on the here and now it allows you to live in the moment and really enjoy the journey together.
4. Take Care of Yourself
I can’t stress enough how important this is. As important as it is to take care of your spouse, it is just as important to make sure you are taking care of yourself.
As I was going through issues with my disordered eating and injury it really took a toll on our relationship. Why? My husband knew I was hurting and wasn’t happy but he didn’t know what to do. I took the focus away from us and our relationship and was in a hole I didn’t know how to get out of.
You have to take care of yourself if you want to be strong and supportive for your spouse. If you are not in a good place there is no way you can be the best for your spouse. There have been several times specifically in the past year when one of us has had to deal with something pretty devastating. You want to be able to be the rock and support system that your spouse needs.
Bottom line, take care of yourself, your health, and your heart.
5. Never Stop Growing Together
One of the greatest things about marriage to me is that we are a team. In everything we do we are a team.
My husband has always stressed that we need to be on the same page. We need to understand each other and always support one another. That doesn’t mean that you or your spouse are always going to be right, but regardless it is important to let the other know you support them.
We always try to find ways to grow as a couple. It can be small tiny thing that we do together, new things we try, or just planning for our future. There is always room to grow no matter how long you have been together. A person never stays the same and as people change it is important to grow and adapt together.
That is my two cents on how I am focusing on my marriage and roll as a wife this year. We all slip and fall but at the end of the day the most important roll I can play is my roll as a wife. It doesn’t mean there aren’t going to be hard times or we are going to get along 100% of the time, but it does mean that we are both committed to constantly working hard and making our marriage the best it can be.
What are your tips on a strong marriage?
What is a personal goal (non-fitness related) that you set for yourself this year?
Don’t forget to enter my I Am Brand running shirt giveaway! You only have one more day! The winner will be announced in Monday’s post.