It's OK to be Selfish

Today I wanted to share something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Some may or may not disagree with me on this but I wanted to put my thoughts into words.

You see lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how we identify ourselves. After I became a Mom my idenity shifted a lot. That was all I saw myself as. It consumed me and in all honesty it is one of the best rolls I have ever had, but I often found myself lost in it.

The past couple weeks as I started marathon training I’ve felt a lot of guilt. Mom guilt is a real thing ya’ll. 

Running and marathon training takes time. Of course, if your efficient it shouldn’t take forever but it does take time and that is time as a Mom you are taking away from being well…Mom. During the first week I left Easton with my parents a lot to run. After a day or two, I started to feel like I was wrong for what I was doing. My parents actually offered every day to watch him while I was gone for at most 1.5 hours (on workout days) so I knew they didn’t mind, but I felt like I was wrong for spending the time away from my son.

Now that we are back on a normal schedule most of my training is done along side my sweet boy, but somehow the mom guilt still often creeps back in. Should I really be keeping him in this stroller with me every morning? Should I be leaving him in daycare at the gym when I could try to entertain him beside me on the home treadmill? Should I really be getting him up early every so often to get our run done early?

The questions. The worries. The guilt. 

Then last week I had a revelation. Sure, I’ve always known it deep down but it finally hit me. It’s okay to be selfish.

The moment we have a child as Mom’s we often begin putting ourselves last. It doesn’t matter if you are a runner or not – it happens more often than not. Between the sleepless nights, the worries, the schedules, we essentially begin to lose ourselves.

Sure, once you become a Mom in some ways your life is never the same but it doesn’t mean that you have to lose yourself entirely.

Running With E

Running for me is my thing. It is my passion and one of the few things that I do entirely for myself. I run each day, race, and set goals for me and me alone. I don’t do it to impress anyone, or try to prove anything, I just do it because I know that I can be better and I want to be better!

Last week I decided it was time to change my perspective. My son will always be #1 and on any day he will trump running hands down, but on a regular day it is something that I choose to make time for me and yes I choose to be selfish. 

To be the best Mom I believe I have to take care of myself. If I don’t take care of myself then everything else eventually falls apart as well. It may not today, or tomorrow, but taking care of myself has to be a priority.

Yes, some days running is selfish. I am doing it for myself but it’s to make me the best woman, wife, and mother than I can be. Whether I’m bringing him along with me in the stroller or someone else is watching him so that Mama can get some me time.

I guess my point is just to share my thoughts. For other Mamas who are hit with that Mom guilt from time to time – it’s OK. It’s OK to be selfish if it means you are looking after yourself. You need to take care of YOU too!

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