I want to start this post by saying this is just me sharing my personal journey. I am not certified dietitian or doctor. I just simply am writing about my journey with an unhealthy relationship with food and how I have repaired it. If you have any questions about disordered eating please consult a doctor.
I was hesitant to really write another post about this, but I figured I owed you all an update. This blog will never be a “food” blog, in all honesty simply because it’s not my passion.
Sure, I love good food but my husband and I eat pretty plain and stick to simple meals. I hope that changes one day but with our budget and schedule we do what we can with what we have.
As you know about 6-7 months ago I came clean about an issue I had been having with disordered eating. It was a tough post for me to write because I really put myself out there.
I am grateful to have a very supportive and honest husband who is always looking out for the best in me. He pointed out where he saw issues and it allowed me to address them before they got to bad.
So where am I now?
The first month or so were really hard. While I knew I needed to make changes I was really lost and it was still very much a mental battle.
The thing that most people may not realize (or maybe they do) is that when you severely restrict your calories you really damage your metabolism. Your body is holding on to everything it is getting and it doesn’t really know how to process the food it is getting.
When I first set out to make changes and start eating properly again I gained weight. Nothing I was really concerned about but when you see the scale go up 8-10 lbs. sometimes it gets frustrating. As you all know now, I have ditched the scale all together. The thing about it was the weight was mostly water weight and my body didn’t know how to handle the influx of food I was giving it.
After the first 2-3 weeks of REALLY eating like I should my body began to adjust. It leveled back out and I finally was able to feel normal and not like a crazy bloated person.
It is tough at first and everything I was reading was saying it was completely normal. Everyone kept saying to stay strong and your body would adjust. Guess what!? It did!
The past several months have been a whirl wind with everything we have had going on, but I am happy to say I am finally at peace. Sure, I have my days where I get frustrated with myself due to eating like crap but I take a deep breath, pick myself back up and move right along.
Long story short, I am at a much better place in my life. I’ve cut out the binges of awful food, eat about 6 meals per day of good and wholesome foods (with a few treats thrown in here and there), and focus on feeding my body what it needs.
What did I do?
When I first made the decision to change I began tracking everything I ate. The focus of tracking what I was eating was not to track the calories but the amount of fat, carbohydrates, protein, and sugars I was getting. I noticed right away I was severely low on fat in my diet.
I also wanted to track WHEN I was eating it and how that was translating into running. I told myself I would only track it for 1 month. This also made me make sure I was getting enough calories. The trick is that the better you start eating the harder it is to get the number of calories you should in! I really had to eat A LOT.
I cut down on the processed sugars and focused on eating whole foods. My problem was the timing of when I ate. I made myself wake up early to get in breakfast before a run and eat throughout the day instead of saving all my food for the end of the day.
The first thing I began to notice was my mood (ask my husband!) I had less days where I felt in a funk and I was much more energized and excited to do things. I didn’t mope around instead I was focused and motivated.
I began listening to my body cues. I rarely feel hungry eating 6 meals a day but when I do I eat. I don’t question it, I don’t try and find a way around it, I listen to what my body is telling me.
How is my running?
I cannot tell you how much of a turn around fixing my eating habits has had on my running. My body feels stronger, I have more energy and I am excited to run.
I always love running but when you have no energy and are frustrated by your performance it begins to suck the fun out of it.
My workouts are going better than they ever have in the past, and while it was tough at first I have noticed an overall improvement in everything I do.
I am happy to be able to come back to you all and share my recovery process. Again, I will say I am incredibly lucky to have those around me that love me enough to recognize a problem as it begins before it goes too far.
It isn’t easy because it is more of a mental mindset than anything, but with the right support system and motivation I was able to break my bad habits!
Of course I am not perfect, but I can tell you that I finally have a healthy relationship with food! It doesn’t scare me, I eat more than I ever have, and I feel better than I ever have. I focus on the nutrients I am putting into my body and not the calories. I have never been able to say that before. It is freeing and has changed my life! Eat clean, eat whole foods, eat plants and lots and lots of it!
What is your favorite food to energize you?
Have you ever tracked your food intake?.