Yesterday’s Workout – Spinning and Recline Bike

Total Time Spinning: 1:00:18

Total Time on the Recline Bike: 20:15

I got in another good cross training workout yesterday, but it was tough!

I woke up yesterday morning feeling pretty awful. My throat hurt, I had a headache, and my body was so sore.  I knew it was coming last night when I went to bed. My husband has been sick so it was just a matter of time.

Wes left about 6:30 AM to go running with some of his friends and I didn’t wake up until around 8:00 when he got back.  We both then proceeded to get back in bed and sleep for another hour.  It was just one of those days.

It took everything in me to drag myself to the gym.

I started off with one hour on the spin bike.

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The room was empty when I got there which was nice. I had the whole place to myself.

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I told myself if I felt too awful that it would be okay to quit. I didn’t feel so hot for the first 20 minutes, but then as the time progressed I slowly started feeling better.

I was so tired after the hour was up.

I opted to go sit on the recline bike and cool down until I knew Wes was ready to go.

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This was more just to shake out my legs than anything else.  I figured it wouldn’t hurt to burn a few more calories either.

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Total workout time was 1 hour and 20 minutes. I felt pretty wiped out after so we took it easy most of the night.

I decided it was time to be honest.  I’ve been really struggling lately.

I’ve loved being able to cheer on my husband at his races and being his biggest fan, don’t get me wrong! The problem is I have become extremely hard on myself and gotten to the point where I am bringing myself down.

I am becoming my own worst enemy.

I don’t have my “outlet” during this time and it has become much harder. Most days I just try to keep myself busy and not focus on it.  Cross training is helping, but it just doesn’t replace what running gave me.

I have become a self-sabotager (is that even a word?) and I’m sure it is equally as frustrating for my husband. I know he doesn’t like to hear me talk so negatively about myself, but for some reason I just can’t shake it.

As I’ve admitted to before, I know this injury is due to my own mistakes. I blame myself a lot and that combined with still being unemployed has really hit me hard in the last couple weeks.  I have always prided myself if nothing else on supporting my husband and I financially while he is in medical school and running. I no longer am able to say either of those things.

Be Easy on Yourself

I don’t really know how to get out of this funk – the only thing I know to do is keep myself busy and focus on what is important in my life.

This is a time period I know I will look back on and regret not making the most out of. I know next year when my husband begins residency and is working 70-80 hours per week I will give anything to have these days back.

Never Give Up

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I have positive days, but some days are just hard and I feel the need to express it. I don’t want to sound negative, because I know I have so much to be thankful for!

Have you ever been in a “funk”? 

Have you ever found yourself self-sabotaging? What did you do to get out of it?

For those of you who asked my husband some questions on his guest post – I am working on getting those answers for you! He has been studying a TON this week for his medical board exam next week, but I promise it is coming! I haven’t forgotten about you 🙂

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