For those of you that follow my blog every day, you have probably noticed a change in what I’ve been doing. It’s been a hard hard time and I feel like it’s time to admit it to the world after one entire week of no running (just in case there was a chance it was something else).
I have a femoral stress fracture.
Ok I 100% can’t say that because right now without health insurance I can’t see a doctor, but all the signs are there.
2. Positive “table sit test”
The realization started to hit me a few days ago, but the actual pain started the day of my workout that didn’t “work out.”
I knew something was off during most of the run. I was hitting the pace but my legs couldn’t keep the speed up and I kept feeling like my quad was extremely tight and it wouldn’t go away.
To be fair I had been having quad tightness for about a week, but really thought that was all it was. I was wrong.
I didn’t mention this on the blog, but on an easy run a few days before that treadmill workout I actually was running on a really rocky path. I wasn’t paying too much attention to where I was going and fell on my leg pretty hard. I don’t know that this is WHAT did it, but since that happened things weren’t the same.
I don’t really know how I am taking this. I cried for several hours, then I went into a state of “what the heck do I do now.”
I went through so many questions in my head:
Will I ever be able to make my goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon?
What will I do to replicate the joy, freedom, and stress relief that running brought me?
Will I ever be the same runner again?
When I come back will I have lost all of my speed and work that I have put in?
Will anyone read my blog anymore if I’m not running for 6 weeks?
Why me!??! Why am I the one that has to have a femoral stress fracture?
That may seem dramatic to some of you, but during this hard time of losing my job and trying to get through a bunch of emotions running has really come to be my escape. It brought me joy I never thought I could have and it really made me proud of myself.
I really don’t know where I should go from here. I felt like I was making so much progress in my training, and now it was taken away from me. Of course there are lessons I can learn from this, but right now I am just trying to make sense of it all in my head.
I do know a few things:
1. This will determine how bad I want my dream of Boston. This will determine the athlete that I want to be.
2. My dream is not gone. I CAN and STILL have time to be ready by May 2014, it just may be a bit more of a challenge now. I know I am ready for the challenge I just still can’t completely believe this is happening.
3. If you will stay with me, I plan to use my blog to document my journey to recovery – what and how I do it, cross training, supplements, diet (YES! I will actually talk about my diet now), and how I stay in shape during this “no-running time.”
4. I need to make changes. I am doing something wrong. I have to learn how my body works better, how it operates, and what it needs to stay healthy.
5. This sucks. (oops! just had to throw that in there)
I am still processing everything and have a lot to figure out. It is hard for me to admit I have a femoral stress fracture. I am blessed with an incredible husband who is going through this with me and has been through this. He knows how hard it is and has been there every step of the way.
Please stay with me and I promise I will be back to my daily/weekly running posts as soon as I can! Until this I am using this as a way to show you my truthful process of coming back! I’ve always said this blog will document my HONEST journey, and this is about as honest as I can get.
I will have a post coming Saturday about my game plan for the next 6 weeks of femoral stress fracture recovery. Between myself and my husband we have come up with a plan to get me back to running strong.